One important thing to realize is that you are your own person. You do not have the same interests and desires or aspirations as people who feel content with wearing jeans and a t-shirt every day, so why suppress that part of who you are? People are not only willing, but happy to spend well over $100 on designer jeans because their aspirations include rocking the best pair of denim blues. But many of those living on the kawaii side of the fashion world prefer not to pay that much on something we do not consider to be as important.

If you enjoy something and consider it to be important to you (and it’s not hurting anybody) why would you deny yourself the right to indulge in something that makes you happy? If J-fashion is something that makes you feel at home, let yourself be covered in just that! You don’t need to “fit in” because that’s not who you are, and that’s great because you are unique. Don’t try to fit in when you’re just not meant to. Be you!

One of my favorite motivators—and the single post that got me out the door in my first full lolita coordinate—comes from an answered ask by the international lolita model, Lovely Lor.

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Whether wear J-fashion or not, there will always be those rotten people who will put you down. In all you do. Don’t stop yourself from participating in something that will make you inexplicitly more at peace with yourself and your life because other people don’t agree with what you wish to do with yourself.

And from my experience, I’ve noticed that the more I wear kawaii fashion out, the more comfortable I feel wearing it.

Remember that life is short! Enjoy each moment that you are given. Isn’t it always better to look back and say “I can’t believe I did that!” rather than, “I wish I would have done that!”

For some people, it’s better to start small in a simple, cute outfit and work your way up. Others find it easier to dive in head first and live out those OTT dreams from the get-go. Whichever you decide is up to you, but make sure it’s an outfit that you absolutely love. Take some cute photos before you go out the door. Spend a lot of time perfecting this outfit. You must absolutely love it and feel comfortable in it, because you need to hold yourself up with confidence when you’re out in public.

The way you hold yourself will certainly change how people see you and the clothes you’re wearing. You don’t want to have hunched over shoulders or be skitting around, shying away from view. The “rotten people” we mentioned earlier will see this as an easy target. If you’re all square shoulders with your nose in the sky, people won’t want to mess with you. Think of it like the shy little emo kid verses the punk badass.

But the grand old takeaway message here is to live your life the way that makes you happy because it’s your life. Do not sacrifice your happiness because of the potential reactions of others.

Those aforementioned “rotten people” are certainly in the minority. While it does depend on the area you live in (and where you choose go to—people at Whole Foods will be friendly than people at Walmart) nearly all alternative fashion wearers, including myself, will report more positive feedback than negative. By a long shot. Many people, still including myself, have been wearing alternative fashion for a long time before even getting their first negative experience. That means that by the time something not so nice comes up, you’ll have the confidence to handle it.

So tell me, what was your first time wearing j-fashion in public like? Was it at a meet up? What substyle did you wear? Do you have any tips for first time frillies? If you want, go ahead and email me a picture of your first public coordinate for a chance to be featured on this blog!

As always, thank you so much for reading and for your support! This is the first of many “confidence” type posts, so subscribe to know when the next one will come out!

Much love!
Kelsey <3